I Don't Miss People

I, dear readers, have survived my first week on my own. The verdict - I LOVED IT!!

When we last touched base, I was a few hours into being at home by myself, no children, no husband, purely just me and our little Dachshund (she things she is a human but she does not count in this). For the rest of that night, I was a little lost and unsure what to do with myself. So I ended up going to bed.

The following week was amazing. I can honestly say, I love being on my own. Not that I don’t love my husband, its just with it just me, I ate when I wanted to, ate what I wanted or did not eat and I was the only one responsible for cleaning up. I found my own little groove and would just potter around the house. Sometimes I got fixated on things and went for it (cleaning kitchen shelves or cooking up a storm) or I would sit an zone out. 

When my husband came home for the weekend, I was so happy to see him. We spent quality time together, going out for dinner and going for a walk with our fur baby in the Autumn sunshine. It was such a relaxing weekend. 

So, what did I learn?

True to myself and my happy little neurodivergent brain, I don’t miss people. If you aren’t in front of me or I need to think about you for some reason, I potter along in my own little world never giving it another thought. Once that person is in front of me, I realise that I have missed them and its been a long time. When I was being assessed, the question came up about missing people and I couldn’t identify if I had ever felt that ‘I miss you’ feeling like others do. It is something that has sat with me ever since because it vexed me quite a bit. 

Reflecting on the week that has been, I realised that I miss my safe place. That is the biggest thing for me. My safe place is one of two things, my home and my husband. When we are away, if I have him with me, I am ok. What I have learnt this week, is in our safe space little home, it is enough that I don’t miss him. I think I miss the safe feeling…..I think that one is going to need more thought. 

Another very cool thing that happened this week was I listened to the audiobook WordSlut: A Feminist Guide to Taking back the English Language by Amanda Montell. It was a fascinating read and made me think about a lot of the language we use and how it shapes our environment. I love looking at things from a difference perspective and thinking about them in a different way. 

See you all next time xx