The Importance of Slow

Happy Easter!! I hope the Easter bunny was kind to all.

This week, dear reader, despite there being a long weekend, I learnt the importance of slow. 

Let me explain. I am the type of person how has to have everything done now. I believe this has a lot to do with autism, and is something that has followed me my entire life. The brain does not stop, and it all has to be great straight away. I am constantly thinking of the next thing to do, where I should be, how things should look - you get the point. 

Whilst this can be good when it comes to productivity, it rubs awfully close to perfectionism and unachievable standards, something I have also struggled with my entire life. 

This week, whilst I am not sure of the catalyst, I was able to reflect and realise the importance of slow living and being in the moment. 

My first taste of slow this week was literally being taught about pacing. As you know, my husband has been away the last few weeks on a course. I spent time with him Monday in the course and they spoke about the importance of pacing when it comes to doing things. A phrase they used which I love, “boom and bust” aka, I have a great idea, I will do it now, everything else will stop and it will be amazing. The reality of this, is a wear myself out, crash, burn, meltdown halfway through and never start again.

I can apply this very much to this blog. I am four months into this. I was never doing it to be the latest and greatest influencer. People are readying my blog, that’s what I wanted, yet I feel like its not enough, that I haven’t done enough (oop, look at that not good enough story showing up again!). Realistically, I have been doing this weekly, pacing myself and it has been good for me. I best communicate in written word and I have received many comments about how people are learning so much more about me, especially my husband. Me writing this blog is strengthening the communication in our marriage - didn’t see that one coming. 

When I had the idea for today’s blog, I was laying in bed listening to rain. It helps me to relax before I go to sleep as it helps me focus my brain but It also reminded me on this night how nice the sound of rain is. How nice it is to observe the chain of seasons. Autumn has finally hit where I live and there are leaves everywhere, you can smell the change in the air and just the feel of nature is different. I am loving it.

The biggest thing though it practicing self-compassion in the midst of this. It is about acknowledging how my brain functions, that is can absolutely run away with me and then I can get utterly disappointed about so many things. It is about coming back and going, its ok, it happens. Rest, we will come back to this. Do you need a hot drink, do you need a blanket, you you need to sit and be? 

I tried to practice this on the weekend. Didn’t quite nail it, but did a pretty good job. It has been a roller coaster of 4 months however it feels like it is starting to settle. Even work is feeling the same. I am feeling more on top of my workload, like things are falling into place and we are moving forward. Talking about slow, it has taken me 10 years to get where I am not in my career and it feels like the right space for me. 

Till next time xx